Armor Dreams and Catapult Schemes

Ah, winter! That special time of year when you hunker down inside your castle and wait with baited breath for the return of warm weather. I say baited breath because, after months without any significant exposure to fresh air, that's what everything begins to smell like - bait!

As the months drag on in near perpetual darkness (not unlike the centuries of the Dark Ages) I begin to get a bit itchy for some outdoor activity. However, since I enjoy cold, ice and snow about as much as pestilence and plague, I know I have weeks yet to wait. (Damn that groundhog, anyway!) So, what is a poor footman to do?

Oh, I've tried all the usual things. First I tore apart my armor. I wasn't all that difficult, actually. Being a realatively new fighter, everyone is better than I am. It's like having a walking pell that they can bash with impunity. Yeah, the sword and board move, but that just makes it interesting. That being the case, my spiffy brigandine coat of plate ended the season looking like a bag of rags and leather scraps. Come to think of it, I often felt like a bag of rags and leather scraps! (But I digress). Rebuilding takes time and money, both of which are in short supply. But it fills the gap while I wait.

Since I'm rebuilding armor, why not upgrade. Brigandine 2.0! I decided to add chain maille. Looks pretty simple. All you need is some 14 guage wire, a pair of side cutters, a pair of pliers and a metal rod. Piece of cake.

Allow me to digress once more. Ignorance truly is bliss. There is nothing so magical, so peaceful and so inspiring as those moments between deciding to do something you have never done before and the cold reality of finding out what is really involved. Try it sometime. But take my advice. Prolong the planning stage as long as possible. The world is ripe with possibility and nothing is beyond your scope. Don't worry, reality will bring you back to earth with the finality of a battle axe soon enough.

Chain maille. After the battle axe fell I changed my plan a bit. I haven't given up on the idea. But I am going cheaper and easier. Thank God for Ebay. There is no shame in pre-cut maille links. Now to enjoy the blissful moments between getting them and actually trying to make something.

Still the days drag by. The weather is beginning to warm a bit, but I'm not quite ready to attempt fighter practice. Remember, my armor is still in pieces. Not to mention the ice still on much of the ground. Though that could make an interesting new piece of practice equipment - a sliding pell! Anyway, on to other plans.

Last season I wowwed the crowds with my very own ballista. Months of research. Weeks of planning. Days of building and rebuilding. Finally what started out as a mangonel morphed into a very respectable ballista. The mangonel is still there, on the back burner. But the ballista was a treat. I even won a siege engine competition with it. Ah, glory. But, then, disaster. A demo day from Hel. The ballista suffered catastrophic failure just being put together. I ended the day drawing and firing by hand while worthy others helped by holding it in place. Our siege crew was a sight to see. Still, it has now provided me with something to fill the empty hours. As if I have any empty hours.

I ordered a new crank and trigger for the machine. Built of metal, welded for strength, and designed to prevent such failure in the future. I will also provide future entertainment by allowing somethin else - equally critical - to fail just when I need it most. But that is for next winter. I now have only to wait for the parts to plan and dream.

Speaking of dreams. There is an old saying that everything looks like a nail to man with a hammer. Well, lately, everything looks like a fighter, or a battle sight. Plans for my mangonel drift lazily through my mind, accompanied by thoughts on various projectiles (stones, tennis balls, the neighbors' cat, hmmmm?). Waiting, waiting, waiting.